8 Comments
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Patty's avatar

Maybe title it A House of Sisters

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Nelly's avatar

Or 'Changes throughout Time'

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Ashley Allen's avatar

I think you are doing an admirable job of writing from a woman's perspective, keep it up!!! I also like the title suggested by Patty!

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Shelly Carpenter's avatar

This was excellent dialog! The line by Jane about wanting versus deserving at first seemed out of character, but was perhaps more impactful because it was from Jane rather than Lizzy. Well done!👏👏👏

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kali's avatar

You do a great job at highlighting the differences between our inner worlds and the many worlds around us without beating us over the head with metaphors - just showing us that stillness is a state of being through our characters. JAFF can sometimes get a little too dependent on characters paraphrasing the famous lines from Persuasion about how differently women experience things, so that subtlety is one of the ways you are doing exceptionally well writing female characters.

I actually like the title as is! Kind of tweaks its nose at the social norm that the Bennet sisters are all basically property of their father.

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Cimora Black's avatar

Great chapter! Lydia is a tough character to capture, but you're doing a great job of capturing her essence and showing that her sisters recognize the effort she is putting into her reformation.

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Amy Simeister's avatar

You seem to have the knack of knowing that it doesn't matter if the point of view is male or female, what matters is that it is humanly relatable.

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Pattizona's avatar

Perhaps The Bennet Sisters…

I like that the old Lydia still breaks through and that the sisters are trying to communicate. Do we get to hear from Mrs. Bennet?

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